Future: Why?

Imagine riding on a train and entering a tunnel that lasted for four years. Now imagine that three great years have zoomed by you and you can see the light on the conductors face. She is smiling, exposing her pearly white teeth and crooked smile. The contrast is incredible; the inch of coal dust on her face casts the illusion similar to a certain cat in tree from long ago. She looks happy for you and casts a look your way that seems to say congratulations, you made it. Now on to the rest of your life. As you push your way up through the train cars fraught with excitement and with little discretion for others you realize that for some reason the train is slowing down. No, its stopped. You sit down and wait. You wait for an hour, A day. A week. A month. Another month. And then one day, you take a look to your past.

You've thrived the past three years in so many ways; athletically, musically, academically, and perhaps even personally. You've built yourself up to be a great person with amazing friends and an amazing family. You savored the relationships you've created and feel so at home in your skin. Everything was somewhat simple. Everything was routine. 

But things are so different now. You've got to prepare, or at least thats what so many people are telling you (cramming down your windpipe). They are right though. One can't go to college on being a good person; there are a literal assload of hoops to jump through in order to even be considered by a school. See, a freshman __your name here___ wouldn't have any problem doing the tasks it takes to be accepted. You had so much energy back then; the world seemed so new and exciting. 

But its not like that anymore. You're a senior, and that means...

SENIOR = SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL 

*Disclaimer* 

Is this true for every high schooler in their last year? No, I don't think so. But the following is what I feel at this point in my life right now. Perhaps you feel similarly or have had some moments that you can relate to? Everything below will be from my personal experience as a Senior at Mt. Blue, and what Senioritis means to me. 

Honestly I have mixed emotions when it comes to graduation, or this light at the end of the tunnel. One piece of me wants to ride a motorcycle though a fire hoop with some 80s hair metal hit playing in the background at the conclusion of graduation. The other pice of me is scared to move on knowing that whatever lies ahead I will have to deal with on my own, as a man of the world. My parents and family will always be there for me, but it won't be like coming home from school everyday to a smile and an armload of wood.

Graduation is going to be a really happy, yet really sad time. I'm going to miss the nuances of high school and the friends that I have made. I'm really going to miss the sports that I've been blessed to play and the music that I somehow found a way to play. I've had a stereotypical Senior year so far; the highs of success and the lows of heartbreak. Its worth it though. Every moment of stress and physical exhaustion has made me who I am today. 

But I haven't really answered the question, have I?

How might we define Senioritis?

Senioritis is many things to many people. Defining it would only profess what it means to you as an individual. I can imagine the word means something very different to someone who is ready to go to Harvard to find the cure for cancer and someone who is going to UMF undecided (who could also cure cancer). Some find it dreadful to move on while others can't wait to flip the bird to their teachers on the way down the halls the second they get their diploma. However, there is some common ground between the two. The notion of an impending change hangs over both of the students heads. Their life is going to be drastically different, and there is nothing they can do to stop it. 

This is what distracts us in class. This is why we:

take liberties when we probably shouldn't

• Do dumb things
• Don't pass in our homework on time
• Do really dumb things
• Take too much time on projects
• Get in doomed relationships
• Get our hearts broken
• Did I say do stupid shit yet?
• Listen to hours of albums with insightful titles
• Go for road trips with friends
• Stay up too late
• Exceed at all of our extracurricular activities
• Turn 18 and try smoking a cigar only to throw up and have the worst damn headache of our lives (true story)
• Do things we never thought we would ever do
• Listen to more music than humanly possible
• Let ourselves be vulnerable and open up to people we barely know
• And thousands of life experiences unique to every senior out there

Senioritis is living like life is going to change forever. For better or for worse, we trade finite schoolisms for infinite memories. Personally, much of this year has been about living, because I have no idea what is going to happen after this.

So everyday I will wake up, 

get dressed and eat my oatmeal

brown sugar and walnuts

and drive to school in a car

that should have warmed up for at least ten more minuets

I'll show up to class on time,

and be polite,

say hey, how are you? 

Fine, and you?

I'll pass in my work 

and crack one to many jokes

but the teacher won't mind

she actually laughed!

Then I will see you walking

and remember what it was like,

the time we spent together

and the memories we made,

how much I miss you

and what our friendship was

Another class

another bell

and its off to practice 

where bonds stronger than steel

are formed and memories 

that will last a life time are made,

I wish I had one more left in me

At least one more go around,

But I can't. Its gone and new things are on

the horizon. The clock is ticking

change is coming 

and you need to focus,

FINISH STRONG! 

And when the day finally comes,

you will be ready

or you hope you will be.

You will be. 

You will be. 

Adventure is a hundred days away.

If you actually read this whole thing, I am impressed and truly grateful. My Senior year has been movie-esque, yet I have no idea what genre it would fall under. So thanks you again, for making it this far, and I hope that we can correspond and share our experiences at some point. 

Oh, and here is a kick-ass song from my friends band, Havenfield.

It seems to describe exactly what I am feeling to perfect detail. Its so cool to see your friend do what he loves and make great music that couldn't be more applicable than right now. Thanks Z. Keep doing what you're doing and make some more great music. I can't wait to see you live someday. Just be sure to save me some tickets (pit preferably).

And if you want more of this kick-ass tuneage, check it out here. Download the album! 

The Definition of Success: Blake Mycoskie v. Anthony Franchetti

Success is something we all strive for in life. We constantly yearn for self-validation much like Blake and his personal conquest. Blake sets out to make the world a better place though his own invention (meanwhile making some cash along the way). In no way am I saying that Blake is doing this purely for his own personal monetary gain; he is getting more from this endeavor than just a boatload of money.


Blake is bringing a valuable service to the world. He is reaching out far beyond the typical businessman turned philanthropist (for personal *cough* tax reason). Blake's idea of matching his sales, ie. One for One is a very prominent theme in the book and his business. I feel that we all are called to do this in our own way. It is hard to not notice the local charities and the good that they do with small amounts of money. Blake has taken this idea to a new level and made it a cornerstone of his business.


People who buy TOMs feel good about their purchase. Under Blake's model, the consumer is responsible for putting shoes on on some child’s feet. I think this is probably the most important part of TOMs. The act of buying shoes makes the consumer feel good about what they have just done; something charitable and worthwhile. Now the real question, will they come back for another pair? The answer: ABSOLUTELY. Look at the local population, have you seen the vast shades of pinks and off-greens that roam through the hallways on a warm spring day? TOMs is a statement; I care a lot, so I buy a couple pair. A win-win. Fashionable shoes and a warm and fuzzy feeling on the inside.


Blake’s last and most apparent theme really is the driving force behind the book. The idea that anyone can make a positive difference in the world is a powerful one. Blake business couldn’t have started anymore modestly. Though the right connections and perseverance, he grew an idea into something that could actually feed his family and change the world. Blake really seized an opportunity to change the world one pair of TOMs at a time.


Blake is what I would call successful. Our definitions of success may differ, but her is without a doubt making a difference in the world. My definition of success is still seeking a definition: I’m a senior in high school. My definition of success is getting an A and kicking butt whatever sporting event comes next.





Obviously, this will change over the course of the next few years. It will shift to graduating college, landing a job, and maybe even raising a family. However, I know that if I am happy with myself I will be successful. I just hope I can give back to this community half as much as it has given me. I have really been lucky to be brought up here, and I am grateful to all those who have got me to where I am today. The next few years are going to be interesting and a lot of fun. Who knows, I may even end up selling shoes from my apartment (under my landlord’s nose).

Ham-LIT

One of my biggest contributions to this project was the filming and editing of what D wrote and B acted out. I really enjoyed the process (I mean come on, there are few things I like more than editing film). We did run into a few problems though. The camera's white balance was off in some of the shots, so some of the scenes appeared spray tanned aka orange. However, we all agreed to keep the orange-ish hue, and alter the "regular" clips to look as if they too were shot from the inside of an orange. Next came sound. It was fairly simple to put Vivaldi's Four Seasons over the top of this. It seemed to fit in both subject matter and style. The Four Seasons was a very emotion pice albeit sublet at points, just like Hamlet.

I still need to go in tomorrow and fix some very minor things ( left out a scene :O ). Silly Anthony, tricks are for kids and you can't leave out part of a soliqac[oiaew[ovinwaoevwnvwonv! 

A Portrait Worth Painting

Ah.

Another free period. I'm sitting here in the food court and the table is stick with God-knows-what. Its grosses me out, so I spin the table  counter-clockwise to get to a clean patch of table. The rotation made an ungodly screeching noise; everyone shot a look in my direction (everyone being the operative word). The food court is empty aside from the usuals. There goes M walking to the cafe to get the usual bagel. There goes C. He hates his learning lab so he also goes to the cafe to get his home fries. 

Its eye opening. We are all such creatures of habit. Everyday. Ritual. This really becomes apparent when we are cold. As the temperatures drop we tend to spend more time inside hovering around a warm wood stove stuck in a looped existence of Netfix, bathroom breaks, and the occasional beeping of the oven. The pizza rolls are done.

At first this may seem like a vacation. However, as the weeks turn into months we realize that the nights are not getting any warmer. D eludes to this in his post. This trapped feeling really bites into our soul, and can easily put is in a funk like no other. The cold can wear us down (I think we are all very aware of this). 

There is hope though! We need to use the snow to our advantage. We need to break up the loop! Go for a ski, snowshoe, or perhaps even a night of winter camping? Whatever tickles your fancy... In short, winter can make us all feel trapped, but there is hope. We can escape our warm nest and venture out into the white yonder, ripe with adventure an a dash of beauty. 

Seriously though. Have you ever seen a tree with freshly fallen snow resting on its branches? It is amazing. 

A List of movies I watched over vacation

Starship Troopers - My favorite bad movie. (Writing sucks, plot sucks, but hilariously entertaining)

Starship Tropers 2 - Sequels sucks!

Starship Troopers 3 - Three-quels suck even more!

Starship Troopers: Invasion - Anime = Japanese as F

Who Framed Roger Rabbit - I actually love this movie. Brought me back to childhood even though there are plenty of adult themes thrown in here.

American Beauty - Didn't really care for it. Too long/too cynical for its own good.

Defiance - Kind of a stereotypical WWII movie, but I liked it.

Cashback - LOVED it. (No,not for the amount of female figures in the buff, but the idea was so well done)

Robot and Frank - Old (forgetful) cat burglar and robot team up to steal junk? Freakin' sweet.

Django Unchained - Favorite movie of all time. Love it. Seen it 3 times. Worth every minute.

Rapture-Palooza - The leading gal in this is from Maine! It was an okay movie, entertaining but a touch sophomoric.

Knights of Badassdom - It was a little funny, but it was too up in the air at points.


So in conclusion, I watched a lot of movies this vacation. Some were great. Some were terrible. Either way, I spent wayyyyyy to much time on netflix. Go outside. Go skiing. Go for a run. Cure the common cold. But please, for the love of pete, don't go down the rabbit hole whist on netflix.

A Week in Review

This week started off on the worst of foots; literally everything hit the fan all at the same time. I was knocked back with a sardonic smile and a impersonal slap to the face. I had no idea it was coming. It was a hard pill to swallow to say the least. I was stunned. 

Even now I still don't feel quite right. Mornings are tough; the ringing alarm bell often brings a sense of dread mixed with anxiety. There is relief from all this though, and it's down the hall and to the left. The sensation of warm water running down my body helps to relive the stress of another day at your expense. When I climb out and towel off, I look at the clock. I'm ahead of schedule... again. Maybe it was the thoughts that kept me from sound sleep, or perhaps the shower was cut short due to the lack of hot water. No. It was the thoughts of so many things that were the results of the tossed sheets.

I search for something to wear; nothing is appealing to the eye. I reach, tug, and pull over my head. Jeans are much the same, except I look for what pair is cleanest (least dirty).  Dressed, I look in the mirror; no BBQ stains... I'm good. Food hasn't tasted so great either. Lately it's been a means to an end. Just another chore everyone needs to do. I walk to my pantry and pull put a plain bad of pre-sliced bread, smother it with crunchy peanut butter and eat it on the run. Usually I'd sit down and eat filling bowl of oatmeal but somehow minuets were lost between now and then. I'm running late. I need to get to school. I can't be late.

I load the car and start the engine. Nothing. Frozen. I yell in frustration bit no one is listening; they were smarter than me and they left earlier. I try again. Nothing. Dammit! The second alarm goes off on my phone. It reads go to school now or you are f***ed. Those LED words have never been so right.  One last time... a last ditch effort. She won't start. She starts. She dies. She's cold. She won't start. Turn the key once more. She starts. She's alive. 

On the road I contemplate turning on the radio. Maybe it would warm this impersonal gray interior up a little bit. Maybe it would offer some sort of escape for a moment. I click the button and sound comes though the frozen speakers. It sounds as if I am inside a tin can. Nothing is on. Only adverts and wings about things I don't really wish to think about. I push the button again; nothing is appealing. 

As I pull into the parking lot I see people, but more importantly their relationships with those around them. Frankly, some don't care about anything more than their own personal sphere of influence while others would give you the coat off their back. Others are looking for a misfortune greater than their own so they can find some temporary solace at someone else's expense. It's hard to watch and even harder to see the victims turn into the predictors. You see, it's a cycle of dominance -or something akin to it anyway. Much like out cousins in the jungles, we are always looking for a way to get ahead. Sometimes that is by throwing our feces across rom full of our peers. Sometimes it is stealing a banana. 

You can really see this at the front door (This is the most informative part of my day). This is where you can really see the difference in the two animal kingdoms. Some days there will be older ladies/gentlemen with huge amounts of luggage in tow : they have their hands full. Some people open the door for them and maybe even hold it open for the people behind them. Some will open the door only just enough so that they can sneak though, turning their bodies sideways and walking as fast as possible. 

Once inside the day truly begins. Lately I've thrown myself into my studies. It's nice to be occupied; it brings a certain feeling of fulfillment. Good for the mind. I enjoy learning new things and pushing myself to new heights. It's nice to see your vocabulary expand and the math become easier. It's a good feeling. After school there is skiing; the best part of the day by far. This is where the metal meets the bone. I love the speed of the course and the pop of a properly loaded up ski. However, that's not the best part. There is a side effect to the speed; your mind is focused. Never have I had clearer thoughts in my life. Things are simple when traveling as fast as a car on route four. The clarity feels good and roomy. Personal troubles loose all meaning; there is only space.

The end of practice is sad. The gloom of the morning comes back to me as I load my skis back into my car. The drive home is silent. Once home I unload my equipment and eat with the family. Again, the food is good but I'm not hungry. My parents as I talk about our day and upcoming events. The topics of college and retiring to Florida are the most common. 

Time speeds up at around seven o'clock. I do my homework and spend a little time on Netflix watching some foreign french movie explains how gray everything is (yet it is gritty and no I am not that good at french), Thank God for subtitles. Sometimes I watch Dexter, a show that tries to justify itself and does a decent job of it. I'm on the third season right now. They're getting married and having a child. Anyway...

Before I know it I'm tired. Not the time-to-sleep tired but the I-can't-do-anything-useful-might-as-well-do-nothing kind of tired. So I retire to my bed and a pair of headphones. I start on my playlist entitled "Sadboi" and begin the trip though my guilty pleasures. While listening to the angst filled teens scream (semi-relevant) poetry over twinkly guitar solos I lay as still as possible. It's an odd feeling losing the sensation of the barrier between your skin and the blankets. Sometimes I feel as though I am apart of the bed I sleep in. I am the symbiotic parasite that gives the bed meaning (or maybe it is the other way around?).

When sleep finally overtakes me, I float into a world devoid of dreams. My thoughts are equally as empty but they contain a silence that speaks in volumes; another day is here and I must get ready. The alarm is ringing.
I can't be late for school.
Shower.
Get dressed.
 Eat.
Arrive.
Watch and learn.
Ski and relax.
Come home.
 Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat. 

5.10.25

5 Jobs You See Yourself doing in Your Lifetime (in no order) 

Captain of a ship cruise ship

3rd mate on a ship

Teacher

EMT

Priest

10 Places You Want to Go (in no order) 

Quebec City - go back to a city I once visited when I was young 

South Africa - to experience a different culture 

Sydney, Australia - Same as above

Montana - Ski the pow

Colorado - Ski the pow

Antartica - Been where no wo/man has been 

Japan - See the culture and History

Baveno Italy - See where my ancestors came from 

The Vatican City - Go to a mass the Pope is saying 

Alaska - Somewhere that is uninhabited 

25 Things You Want to do at Some Point in Your Life (in no order) 

Be happy 

Have a family

Restore industry in Wilton

Pilot a ship across international seas

Travel alone

Fly a plane 

Coach a team

Teach a class

Actually use the French I’ve learned

Help someone in their time of need

Make the most of a bad situation

Get married

Have children 

Flip a house 

Learn how to fix a motor 

Live in the woods alone for at least 4 months

Never let money become the only reason for my life

Stay close with my siblings 

Make a positive difference 

Graduate from high school & college 

See my children graduate from high school & college 

Hear my brother’s voice 

Give back to my parents & family 

Watch the sun come up from atop a mountain 

Find the meaning to life 

This was a list created for an economics class, but I thought it would work pretty well here. Thank to Mr. Condon for the prompt. Hopefully I'll accomplish what I have above, even though they are contradictory. I guess life is all about sacrifices, right? We wade through our decisions and live with what we have done no matter how heavy it bears on us. We toil; sweat and bleed to make a situation better, yet the world around you remains an unwavering shade of sardonic gray.

These days are the ones that define us and make us who we are; the product of ourselves. Ultimately there will be a point in life where we can't blame anyone else for who we are. We have to answer for what we have done. We have to take responsibility for who we are and what we have created. Good, bad, and indifferent we are still people; imperfect and flawed. 

The poetic part:

This is what makes us whole. Our shortcomings are what define who we are and what we can do. A complete life can't be had unless you have some unsavory experiences now and then. How else could we learn to clean up spilt milk, recover from injury, or mend a broken heart? We have to learn from experience. A human experience. A life experience.