Future: Why?

Imagine riding on a train and entering a tunnel that lasted for four years. Now imagine that three great years have zoomed by you and you can see the light on the conductors face. She is smiling, exposing her pearly white teeth and crooked smile. The contrast is incredible; the inch of coal dust on her face casts the illusion similar to a certain cat in tree from long ago. She looks happy for you and casts a look your way that seems to say congratulations, you made it. Now on to the rest of your life. As you push your way up through the train cars fraught with excitement and with little discretion for others you realize that for some reason the train is slowing down. No, its stopped. You sit down and wait. You wait for an hour, A day. A week. A month. Another month. And then one day, you take a look to your past.

You've thrived the past three years in so many ways; athletically, musically, academically, and perhaps even personally. You've built yourself up to be a great person with amazing friends and an amazing family. You savored the relationships you've created and feel so at home in your skin. Everything was somewhat simple. Everything was routine. 

But things are so different now. You've got to prepare, or at least thats what so many people are telling you (cramming down your windpipe). They are right though. One can't go to college on being a good person; there are a literal assload of hoops to jump through in order to even be considered by a school. See, a freshman __your name here___ wouldn't have any problem doing the tasks it takes to be accepted. You had so much energy back then; the world seemed so new and exciting. 

But its not like that anymore. You're a senior, and that means...

SENIOR = SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL 

*Disclaimer* 

Is this true for every high schooler in their last year? No, I don't think so. But the following is what I feel at this point in my life right now. Perhaps you feel similarly or have had some moments that you can relate to? Everything below will be from my personal experience as a Senior at Mt. Blue, and what Senioritis means to me. 

Honestly I have mixed emotions when it comes to graduation, or this light at the end of the tunnel. One piece of me wants to ride a motorcycle though a fire hoop with some 80s hair metal hit playing in the background at the conclusion of graduation. The other pice of me is scared to move on knowing that whatever lies ahead I will have to deal with on my own, as a man of the world. My parents and family will always be there for me, but it won't be like coming home from school everyday to a smile and an armload of wood.

Graduation is going to be a really happy, yet really sad time. I'm going to miss the nuances of high school and the friends that I have made. I'm really going to miss the sports that I've been blessed to play and the music that I somehow found a way to play. I've had a stereotypical Senior year so far; the highs of success and the lows of heartbreak. Its worth it though. Every moment of stress and physical exhaustion has made me who I am today. 

But I haven't really answered the question, have I?

How might we define Senioritis?

Senioritis is many things to many people. Defining it would only profess what it means to you as an individual. I can imagine the word means something very different to someone who is ready to go to Harvard to find the cure for cancer and someone who is going to UMF undecided (who could also cure cancer). Some find it dreadful to move on while others can't wait to flip the bird to their teachers on the way down the halls the second they get their diploma. However, there is some common ground between the two. The notion of an impending change hangs over both of the students heads. Their life is going to be drastically different, and there is nothing they can do to stop it. 

This is what distracts us in class. This is why we:

take liberties when we probably shouldn't

• Do dumb things
• Don't pass in our homework on time
• Do really dumb things
• Take too much time on projects
• Get in doomed relationships
• Get our hearts broken
• Did I say do stupid shit yet?
• Listen to hours of albums with insightful titles
• Go for road trips with friends
• Stay up too late
• Exceed at all of our extracurricular activities
• Turn 18 and try smoking a cigar only to throw up and have the worst damn headache of our lives (true story)
• Do things we never thought we would ever do
• Listen to more music than humanly possible
• Let ourselves be vulnerable and open up to people we barely know
• And thousands of life experiences unique to every senior out there

Senioritis is living like life is going to change forever. For better or for worse, we trade finite schoolisms for infinite memories. Personally, much of this year has been about living, because I have no idea what is going to happen after this.

So everyday I will wake up, 

get dressed and eat my oatmeal

brown sugar and walnuts

and drive to school in a car

that should have warmed up for at least ten more minuets

I'll show up to class on time,

and be polite,

say hey, how are you? 

Fine, and you?

I'll pass in my work 

and crack one to many jokes

but the teacher won't mind

she actually laughed!

Then I will see you walking

and remember what it was like,

the time we spent together

and the memories we made,

how much I miss you

and what our friendship was

Another class

another bell

and its off to practice 

where bonds stronger than steel

are formed and memories 

that will last a life time are made,

I wish I had one more left in me

At least one more go around,

But I can't. Its gone and new things are on

the horizon. The clock is ticking

change is coming 

and you need to focus,

FINISH STRONG! 

And when the day finally comes,

you will be ready

or you hope you will be.

You will be. 

You will be. 

Adventure is a hundred days away.

If you actually read this whole thing, I am impressed and truly grateful. My Senior year has been movie-esque, yet I have no idea what genre it would fall under. So thanks you again, for making it this far, and I hope that we can correspond and share our experiences at some point. 

Oh, and here is a kick-ass song from my friends band, Havenfield.

It seems to describe exactly what I am feeling to perfect detail. Its so cool to see your friend do what he loves and make great music that couldn't be more applicable than right now. Thanks Z. Keep doing what you're doing and make some more great music. I can't wait to see you live someday. Just be sure to save me some tickets (pit preferably).

And if you want more of this kick-ass tuneage, check it out here. Download the album!