Imagine having a conversation with someone, and then having the ability to rewind it and change a few words that forks into an entirely different conversation in itself. This power has great weight in the game, and it is an extremely interesting dynamic; dose the player chose to accuse a security guard of harassment or point the finger at a fellow classmate that is slinging drugs on the side? The decision doesn't really matter at the present moment, because regardless of how you chose to play it, your decision can be undone and the other option can be explored.
During my time playing the game, I've wondered how this dynamic could apply to my life. Has every decision I've made been the right one? Of course, the answer is no. If I could rewind time and speak out in times where I wanted noting more than to not be noticed, or stay quiet when I should have, I feel like I could really avoid having to pull my foot out of my yap.
But does having a rewind button take away what it means to be human? As I wrote this, I realized that undoing all the mistake or wrongs you have committed would change your perception of life; you would never truly learn from your mistakes in a permanent and meaningful way. I would constantly be undoing the smallest mistakes and always come out on the bright side of situations. Winning all the time doesn't make a team better. Losing can tell you more about yourself than anything else ever could.
If I could change anything in my life, I wouldn't. However, if I could go back to the beginning and do it all over again, would I play it out the same? I think the answer to that could only be realized if I were to literally start life in the cradle again; I honestly don't know. I don't know if I would decide to go to a pseudo-military school where I often daydream about hiking the AT and/or riding a motorcycle across Canada, exploring life though experiences and not buried in a textbook doing physics until my fingers bleed.
The choices I have made are mine, and I own up to them. I took control of my life and am doing what I am doing because I think this is what I want to do, but (as I have said before) I would be lying to say that I've never wanted to cash in all this hard work and explore other options. Maybe I would find a meaning to life larger than a dollar, but at this point I am doing the 'most very clean cut, well educated, and typical' thing a nineteen year old can do; working my ass off in school and giving (hopefully) setting myself up for a great future.
Life is strange, and the decisions we make constantly alter the roads we travel down. Having the ability to go back between each decision won't make us better people, but just give us too much control in our lives, and will often cause more problems than we anticipated. The best course through life is the one that we are on, and it can only get better if we make educated decisions and live with as few regrets as possible. i only ope to take my own advice, and to continue on the path that I am on. It's not a lot of fun right now, but who is to say that I can't do the AT or ride my newly purchased Triumph T-100 (or do i really need such a nice bike?) in matte black from Antigonish to Prince Rupert (or the other way around?) when I am twenty-four/five/six-ish. Only time will tell.
In closing, I would like to share one of my favorite songs that has popped up in the game. I'm only in the second episode (of five), so I hope to find more as I go. Anyway, the link is below and I really suggest you give it a listen as you ask yourself if every decision you have made has been a good one, and if you change any of the thing you have done if given the power to.
Here's to another shitty Monday, and hopefully a good weekend.
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