I go to a school with eighty-five percent dudes.
The dynamic here is far from ideal, but I am no heathen either. Its just a unique situation to be in. I haven't really been looking for a relationship for a while either. My last relationship was my longest and first real boyfriend/girlfriend experience. It was great and extremely juvenile; in retrospect, I was one of those puppy dogged seniors that treated smiley faced text like wedding bells. It wasn't healthy and I wasn't mature about it at all.
When it ended, I was crushed. Completely crushed. Flattened. Poof; dust. I was in a slump for pretty much what remained of senior year. I wouldn't talk to you and would walk quickly by whenever our paths crossed. Of course you repaid the favor and look through me just as easily as I listened to break up albums on Spotify. (I got into some really good music then, one of the many upsides of this whole fiasco)
Anyway, after a few months of sulking and a lot of time spent with friends I recovered. I still didn't really look at you though; the last time I was in school you walked into the guidance office. I acted like I didn't see you. I don't know why I did that but I'm over the whole thing now. That was months ago, and I am indifferent again.
Currently I am in a good position. I've really enjoyed talking to this girl that goes to a school forty-five minuets away. She is really an awesome personal and there are so many likable things about her. She is so easy to talk to; conversation doesn't feel like work at all. We've talked for months, and its been pretty great.
The only hitch: we've only really met in person once, for thirty minuets.
The build up to that thirty minuets was the first time I felt genuinely nervous about meeting a girl for the first time. It was weird for me; we (basically) met online through mutual friends and a less than reputable app. This still kind of bothers me, but I feel like we aren't the sixty percent of people that are looking for a relationship that last for more than a night.
Honestly I don't know what I am looking for, and that isn't such a bad thing. Its just nice to have someone to talk to. You see, the days here are not fun. Not in the slightest. They are work compounded by the lack of sleep and deadlines we constantly face. Nobody really enjoys this place, but we know where we want to end up. That's why we are here. Talking to you is enjoyable, and it makes my day so much better.
My trip up to D and A's college was long in the making, and by happenstance you were going to be around on Sunday. So after some rather poorly-crafted text messages and a lot of "You can do it buddy" pats on the back, I sent the message. You were busy for most of the day, but you say it was okay for me to swing by the academic center and say hi.
After I got the directions I made the walk to the building, about a quarter of a mile away. I followed the directions:
"Go to the front of the field house (facing the mall) go in.
Go left, right, left, and then it is a door on your right that
says academic center which is up a set of stairs"
The cold-anxious feeling propelled me through the halls; was she anything like what I imagined her to be? As I opened the door to the academic center, I realized that the room was silent. No one was talking, everyone was deep in text or notebook.
What the hell am I doing here?
I immediately walked all the way down the right side of the room hoping to find something close to a speaking section. Unfortunately, the laws of physics stayed true no such room was found. Instead I sat down on a really uncomfortable/conveniently hidden armchair.
Hey man, I have no idea where she is. I am in the academic building but no dice.
I'm on my way
Phew, A was coming to the rescue, A few more minuets went by scrolling through Snapchat news (the most credible way to get your information) before A arrived and proceeded to point out my grossest oversight of the day.
Dude, she is right there!
What? Where?
Look around the wall, literally right there.
Oh. Wow. He was right.
In my haste I had walked right by her, but I didn't think she had noticed. I think she had music in or was intensely studying, but either way I was in the clear.
Thanks man, you're the best. (This is the summation of a few inaudible exchanges)
I walked over to her, pulled out the chair from the desk, and sat down to your right. You smiled, and the conversation and time flew by. We talked, and it was easy. You smiled and you were genuine; it was great to finally put a tangible face to the hundreds of digital exchanges. You laugh was hearty, your expression welcoming. You were every bit as awesome as you had let on.
After about thirty minutes I had to run, my ride back to school was coming soon and you had work to do. At the end of our conversation, you asked when I would be up again, and that made me smile, but I couldn't give you an exact date because of weekend watches and firefighting training. I hope I didn't come off as if I were trying to avoid you; I really do want to see you again and I will be up again soon. Since then, we have continued to talk back and forth and things have been good. I am excited to visit D and A again, and I look forward to the next time I can say hello.
Maybe next time, we could get some coffee?
Here's to college, awesome friends, and even the chance to see you again.
AF
P.S. She also likes Minus the Bear :O
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