This was a great weekend.
In my last weekend home before I sail this summer, I went up to see my best friends at the state college about forty five minuets away. Needless to say, it was a very "college experience and I had more fun that weekend than the three before it. Nothing beats hangout out with your true friends and seeing the people make make home so great.
You see, I've been reading a lot lately. The last two book I read, Paper Towns by John Green and Into the Wild by John Krakauer, deal extensively with the themes of adventure and leaving. These two things are very prevalent in my life, especially now that I am on the precipice of a salty summer. My adventure will not be akin of Margo Roth Spiegleman or Chris McCandless; a lot of people will know where I am going and I'll have a phone.
These books have made me think about what I am undertaking though. This adventure will afford me experiences that I couldn't get any other way. Some people may make jokes about how 'crunchy' this picture is I am painting, and I honestly don't care. I'm not doing this for anyone else, I don't really need to defend my choices to people (or this choice at least). I want urgently the freedom of choice and the responsibility to be beholden to myself, meanwhile I value the dear friendships I've made.
I guess this is where the selfish part of the whole adventurism-lifestyle come into play. In order to feel the freedom of the Alaskan countryside or miles of open blacktop with nothing but a backpack and a crosshatch notebook, I need to (simply put) leave. Now, this may sound simple, but when you have great friends and family at home, some of whom you haven't laid eyes on in more than ten months, it's hard to put it on hiatus for even longer and not feel like an ass.This is the price of adventure; I am exchanging a summer for an experience that few people get to have. I committed to this trip long ago, and I will honor my word to myself. I owe it to all those that aided me in wandering into this place, and now that I am here I need to do what it right.
Now, to all my friends I will not see until August third, have a great freakin' summer. You guys have made my first year of college so great and I really owe it to you for helping me get through some pretty crappy times (the month of yelling/the ten days of poop). Just the thought of those late night Smash/Mario Cart sessions made me smile. I'm sure I will be thinking of those nights during some of those really shitty stormy nights that I spend heaving the whatever-the-hell-is-in-my-stomach into a seawater toilet bowl that smells like stale pee and testosterone.
Just to clarify, I typed that last sentence with a smile on my face, because Chris McCandless would say that's a needed experience of the shipboard life, and Margo Roth Spiegleman would say that I would need to clean myself up and take a damn shower (right?).
I can't wait!
AF
P.S. Canada is still a wicked interesting Country. I dig talking to her.
Monday, April 25, 2016
Friday, April 15, 2016
Flour and Honey Mustard
On Thursday, I had a near miss.
The morning maintenance session was underway as usual, but instead of a usually-petty-boring engine assignment, I was assigned to help take on stores for the cruise that I will be going on this summer. Today, it was bulk dry goods and non-perishables. It a mini-cargo operation; I've never seen the ship so busy.
The first hour was pretty brutal. I have never before carried so much mountain dew. Each load was stacked six cases high in the familiar fire wood fashion. Walking was the easy part, but I think I managed to drop (most) of the cases pretty roughly on the deck. I apologize in advance for those who like the stuff... You're probably going to get a face full of electric green as soon as crack one open.
Soon there after, some hand trucks were given out and the process was expedited even further. The trucks were fully loaded with even more soda and I've never been so sick of damn cans in my life. Eventually the soda ran out, only to replaced by Gatorade syrup and juice concentrate. After that came, pasta, mustard, ketchup, olives, more bulk goods.
Then came flour and honey mustard.
I wasn't on the weather deck at the time, but the main deck standing away from the cargo square like I had been told to do. I was busy loading my truck and thinking about something else to say to my old-OIC. Two contractors were walking down the passage way and were about to go under the cargo hatch, but an upperclassmen put her arm out to stop them. She was doing exactly what she was told to do, and stopped them right in their tracks. I heard one of them swear under his breath and turn around to go the long way to get to the stair well.
A moment later a bridle on the cargo net parted, spilling a pallet's worth of flour nearly fifteen feet through the cargo hatch onto the main deck. It sounded like a gunshot, and I could feel the shock wave through the steel plating. After a few moments, the flour settled and everyone remaind quiets.I think we collectively realized that the two contractors were a few step from being crushed beneath what at one time be pancakes, and simultaneously let out one big "holy f****** shit f***.
To make a long story short, the mates on the ship made sure everyone was okay, check for damage, assigned people to clean up the mess (which was actually kind of fun, have you even had flour up to your shins and cleaned mustard off a bulkhead?) and the operation continued. The cadet that stopped the contractors was given as close to a fist bump as the crew give, and an extra emphasis was placed on the importance of following procedure. A good thing came out of something that could have been very bad; ship rules save lives.
I think this is my first ship story, and I know there are more to come soon. As I prepare to cruise this summer, I decided to hold it upon myself to keep a journal over each of the ninety days. I have no idea what I will do with the work, but I promised myself I would do it.
Here's to a good weekend.
AF
The first hour was pretty brutal. I have never before carried so much mountain dew. Each load was stacked six cases high in the familiar fire wood fashion. Walking was the easy part, but I think I managed to drop (most) of the cases pretty roughly on the deck. I apologize in advance for those who like the stuff... You're probably going to get a face full of electric green as soon as crack one open.
Soon there after, some hand trucks were given out and the process was expedited even further. The trucks were fully loaded with even more soda and I've never been so sick of damn cans in my life. Eventually the soda ran out, only to replaced by Gatorade syrup and juice concentrate. After that came, pasta, mustard, ketchup, olives, more bulk goods.
Then came flour and honey mustard.
I wasn't on the weather deck at the time, but the main deck standing away from the cargo square like I had been told to do. I was busy loading my truck and thinking about something else to say to my old-OIC. Two contractors were walking down the passage way and were about to go under the cargo hatch, but an upperclassmen put her arm out to stop them. She was doing exactly what she was told to do, and stopped them right in their tracks. I heard one of them swear under his breath and turn around to go the long way to get to the stair well.
A moment later a bridle on the cargo net parted, spilling a pallet's worth of flour nearly fifteen feet through the cargo hatch onto the main deck. It sounded like a gunshot, and I could feel the shock wave through the steel plating. After a few moments, the flour settled and everyone remaind quiets.I think we collectively realized that the two contractors were a few step from being crushed beneath what at one time be pancakes, and simultaneously let out one big "holy f****** shit f***.
To make a long story short, the mates on the ship made sure everyone was okay, check for damage, assigned people to clean up the mess (which was actually kind of fun, have you even had flour up to your shins and cleaned mustard off a bulkhead?) and the operation continued. The cadet that stopped the contractors was given as close to a fist bump as the crew give, and an extra emphasis was placed on the importance of following procedure. A good thing came out of something that could have been very bad; ship rules save lives.
I think this is my first ship story, and I know there are more to come soon. As I prepare to cruise this summer, I decided to hold it upon myself to keep a journal over each of the ninety days. I have no idea what I will do with the work, but I promised myself I would do it.
Here's to a good weekend.
AF
Sunday, April 3, 2016
Life is Strange (part II)
I have a big test tomorrow in Humanities II, a class that challenges the way I think. Lately, we have been talking about quantum entanglement, and all things that make my head hurt. One way that I have been able to better understand some of the things we have talked about is the game (I'd rather call it a narrative, because it has really made an impact on my life) Life is Strange.
I just completed the third of five episodes, and the volume is picking up. Max, the protagonist, is now capable of altering events even deeper into the past. One of the main points of the story is that Max's friend blames the way her life turned out because of her father's death when she was just a young child. The friend is the definition of a teenage burnout; drugs, ill-fated relationships, and the occasional police run-in are the ordinary. The death altered the friend's path in life drastically, but what if it didn't happen?
The player is presented with a choice at the climax of episode three; to hide the father's keys to prevent him from driving, or let the man die in a car crash that sparked the downward spiral of her friend? After weighing the pros and lack of cons I decided to save the dad, but the repercussions of that decision couldn't have been any larger. When the payer comes back to the 'current" time, Max's friend no longer has the blue punk rock hair, tattoos, or attitude she once has; instead, she has a wheelchair and a hole in her throat.
This is where the episode ends, but why? I thought saving the father would set the friend's life on track to something more productive, no make her an quadriplegic. I haven't played beyond this point, most due to the test tomorrow, but I think I can already see the conclusion on the horizon. Everything happens for a reason, even if it is truly awful and there are no benefits at all. Sometimes, things just need to be the way they are. I can see this in my own life in two big events; a death and a sickness. One before I was on this planet, and one when I was still a young child.
My brother (whom I have written about before) passed away in 1989, which set in motion a series of events that led to a divorce, another marriage, and my birth. I have always wondered if my brother was alive today, would things have happened like they did? Is my life directly tied to the death of my brother? Its a weird notion to have, but I have talked about it with my Mother before. She gave me some insight into the issue, but she really couldn't say that things would be the same.
She did say, however, that she put her faith in God during this whole event. Regardless of what happened, my Mom's faith in God's plan for herself and her family would never have changed, and that the way her life has played out simply is. She truly is one of the strongest people I know, and has always been a role model to me. My Mother has been tested in more ways than I will ever know, but her resilience is what gives me hope and drives me to succeed in my life.
The next big experience that I will talk about was my pretty serious illness in the eight grade. Long story short, I was extremely sick and had long road to recovery, but I did it. The experience of being in an intensive care unit and getting a glimpse of what my brother went though some twenty years prior weighed on me and especially on my Mother. Oddly enough, I feel like having this shared experience is what gave me insight into who he was. I felt like I got to know him without ever hearing his voice or seeing him in person.
Now if I were to go back in time and change all of this, would my life today be anything similar to where I am currently? Honestly, I don't couldn't say one way or another, and I don't really think that is up to me to even contemplate. Things happened, and they are irreversible. My Mother has told me that life is weird, and that these things happen for reasons we may never know. It's our faith in God and the people around us that help us cope with these terrible events; with their help we can push though and do great things.
My Mom is right. I've been givne a great opportunity on this earth and it is up to me to make the most of it. It's up to me to not get caught up in the could-have-beens and memories, but to see the world for what it is worth.
Life truly is strange.
I hope at least understand some of it (and get a good enough grade on yet another test).
AF
I just completed the third of five episodes, and the volume is picking up. Max, the protagonist, is now capable of altering events even deeper into the past. One of the main points of the story is that Max's friend blames the way her life turned out because of her father's death when she was just a young child. The friend is the definition of a teenage burnout; drugs, ill-fated relationships, and the occasional police run-in are the ordinary. The death altered the friend's path in life drastically, but what if it didn't happen?
The player is presented with a choice at the climax of episode three; to hide the father's keys to prevent him from driving, or let the man die in a car crash that sparked the downward spiral of her friend? After weighing the pros and lack of cons I decided to save the dad, but the repercussions of that decision couldn't have been any larger. When the payer comes back to the 'current" time, Max's friend no longer has the blue punk rock hair, tattoos, or attitude she once has; instead, she has a wheelchair and a hole in her throat.
This is where the episode ends, but why? I thought saving the father would set the friend's life on track to something more productive, no make her an quadriplegic. I haven't played beyond this point, most due to the test tomorrow, but I think I can already see the conclusion on the horizon. Everything happens for a reason, even if it is truly awful and there are no benefits at all. Sometimes, things just need to be the way they are. I can see this in my own life in two big events; a death and a sickness. One before I was on this planet, and one when I was still a young child.
My brother (whom I have written about before) passed away in 1989, which set in motion a series of events that led to a divorce, another marriage, and my birth. I have always wondered if my brother was alive today, would things have happened like they did? Is my life directly tied to the death of my brother? Its a weird notion to have, but I have talked about it with my Mother before. She gave me some insight into the issue, but she really couldn't say that things would be the same.
She did say, however, that she put her faith in God during this whole event. Regardless of what happened, my Mom's faith in God's plan for herself and her family would never have changed, and that the way her life has played out simply is. She truly is one of the strongest people I know, and has always been a role model to me. My Mother has been tested in more ways than I will ever know, but her resilience is what gives me hope and drives me to succeed in my life.
The next big experience that I will talk about was my pretty serious illness in the eight grade. Long story short, I was extremely sick and had long road to recovery, but I did it. The experience of being in an intensive care unit and getting a glimpse of what my brother went though some twenty years prior weighed on me and especially on my Mother. Oddly enough, I feel like having this shared experience is what gave me insight into who he was. I felt like I got to know him without ever hearing his voice or seeing him in person.
Now if I were to go back in time and change all of this, would my life today be anything similar to where I am currently? Honestly, I don't couldn't say one way or another, and I don't really think that is up to me to even contemplate. Things happened, and they are irreversible. My Mother has told me that life is weird, and that these things happen for reasons we may never know. It's our faith in God and the people around us that help us cope with these terrible events; with their help we can push though and do great things.
My Mom is right. I've been givne a great opportunity on this earth and it is up to me to make the most of it. It's up to me to not get caught up in the could-have-beens and memories, but to see the world for what it is worth.
Life truly is strange.
I hope at least understand some of it (and get a good enough grade on yet another test).
AF
Thursday, March 24, 2016
Wow, all that from Girl Scout Cookies?
Today, I bought some Girl Scout Cookies.
Four dollars for a box of sweet, minty joy was more than enough for me. In a place that is drab on even the most colorful of days, you'll take whatever form of happiness you can find. The girls seemed genuinely happy to have yet another sale; I'm sure they're doing just fine and my contribution is just another five dollar bill added to their wad.
Thin Mints. I bought Thin Mints. The last time I had these delicious babies were when I was home and I hid them in the freezer (right next to the Nutella so dad can only get a little bit out of the jar). I guess I'm just overly sentimental right now; everything seems to make me think of my friends and the house that I grew up in and the summers and blah blah blah... I've already gone down this road. I've realized these things, but I've also looked to see that this part of my life is going to be an adventure more than anything else.
I feel like I've said that a lot. I probably (definitely) have, and I think I do this because it is the big thing keeping me going. If I went to literally any other school, there would be no chance in hell that I would put myself through calculus or physics, because I never felt confident enough in my mathematical abilities to even attempt these subjects. Now that I am here, and I don't have any alternative, I'm doing my best and things are actually going pretty well. Right now I have an A and a B respectively, and I pray to Jeebus that I can keep up the status quo.
I think that the change in scenery (Wilton ---> Castine) and sudden thrusting into a different lifestyle changed me, or at least a little part of me anyway. I am without a doubt more independent now, but I think that living with mostly (white, republican, and maybe-not-the-most-open-minded) dudes has also trained me to bite my tongue more than I once would. I'm going to be with these people for two semesters straight, and learning to deal with differing personalities hasn't been the easiest situation for me.
I don't support DT, but many people here do. I guess I can empathize with what they feel toward the current day political situation, but I'd like to think that the ethics that I've been brought up on by both the church and my parents make me want to help more than I hurt (or at least attempt to do so). That isn't necessarily the way many people here feel here, in spite of what they chose to call themselves. I guess my methodology doesn't truly line up with what they feel, and by George that is okay. The world appears to be as tempestuous as ever. The attacks around the world, various wars, and changing political climate are creating a place that the current generation has to deal with. I don't have an answer to how we will change these things for the better, but I do know that good faith and human nature isn't something to be wasted.
The world will always have evil in it. Big people in high places will use power to justify their actions, right or wrong. The thing that makes us human is our ability to respond to this; humanity makes itself apparent when tragedy strikes and our friends need help. The human struggle is to eke out an existence that means something to the individual and benefits those that they hold most dear to them. Now that I think about it, that last line pretty much disqualifies the first sentence of this paragraph, but that is okay. Once one realize that we all want this for ourselves, we can begin to empathize with those around us. So, DT, I guess I do see where you are coming from. You seek to make life better and more enjoyable for yourself and your family, just as I would. I can't say that you're my choice of a candidate, but I realize you're human. In your humanity, you've distorted what it means to help those around you by specific... but that is another post.
I probably won't have a lasting impact on this earth. What I can do, however, is quantify what is going on around me and strive to do my part in making that 'something' better. It would be remiss of me to say that I help at every opportunity I get; my life has never been so presently self-important than right now (I spend most of my days thinking only about what I have to do). This ins't a bad thing, but it is the reality of the situation. I don't have the means to dive into social reform right now, but I will down the road. The when and where are yet to be determined, I just need to be receptive.
I've been thinking a lot lately, so expect another post soon.
AF
Four dollars for a box of sweet, minty joy was more than enough for me. In a place that is drab on even the most colorful of days, you'll take whatever form of happiness you can find. The girls seemed genuinely happy to have yet another sale; I'm sure they're doing just fine and my contribution is just another five dollar bill added to their wad.
Thin Mints. I bought Thin Mints. The last time I had these delicious babies were when I was home and I hid them in the freezer (right next to the Nutella so dad can only get a little bit out of the jar). I guess I'm just overly sentimental right now; everything seems to make me think of my friends and the house that I grew up in and the summers and blah blah blah... I've already gone down this road. I've realized these things, but I've also looked to see that this part of my life is going to be an adventure more than anything else.
I feel like I've said that a lot. I probably (definitely) have, and I think I do this because it is the big thing keeping me going. If I went to literally any other school, there would be no chance in hell that I would put myself through calculus or physics, because I never felt confident enough in my mathematical abilities to even attempt these subjects. Now that I am here, and I don't have any alternative, I'm doing my best and things are actually going pretty well. Right now I have an A and a B respectively, and I pray to Jeebus that I can keep up the status quo.
I think that the change in scenery (Wilton ---> Castine) and sudden thrusting into a different lifestyle changed me, or at least a little part of me anyway. I am without a doubt more independent now, but I think that living with mostly (white, republican, and maybe-not-the-most-open-minded) dudes has also trained me to bite my tongue more than I once would. I'm going to be with these people for two semesters straight, and learning to deal with differing personalities hasn't been the easiest situation for me.
I don't support DT, but many people here do. I guess I can empathize with what they feel toward the current day political situation, but I'd like to think that the ethics that I've been brought up on by both the church and my parents make me want to help more than I hurt (or at least attempt to do so). That isn't necessarily the way many people here feel here, in spite of what they chose to call themselves. I guess my methodology doesn't truly line up with what they feel, and by George that is okay. The world appears to be as tempestuous as ever. The attacks around the world, various wars, and changing political climate are creating a place that the current generation has to deal with. I don't have an answer to how we will change these things for the better, but I do know that good faith and human nature isn't something to be wasted.
The world will always have evil in it. Big people in high places will use power to justify their actions, right or wrong. The thing that makes us human is our ability to respond to this; humanity makes itself apparent when tragedy strikes and our friends need help. The human struggle is to eke out an existence that means something to the individual and benefits those that they hold most dear to them. Now that I think about it, that last line pretty much disqualifies the first sentence of this paragraph, but that is okay. Once one realize that we all want this for ourselves, we can begin to empathize with those around us. So, DT, I guess I do see where you are coming from. You seek to make life better and more enjoyable for yourself and your family, just as I would. I can't say that you're my choice of a candidate, but I realize you're human. In your humanity, you've distorted what it means to help those around you by specific... but that is another post.
I probably won't have a lasting impact on this earth. What I can do, however, is quantify what is going on around me and strive to do my part in making that 'something' better. It would be remiss of me to say that I help at every opportunity I get; my life has never been so presently self-important than right now (I spend most of my days thinking only about what I have to do). This ins't a bad thing, but it is the reality of the situation. I don't have the means to dive into social reform right now, but I will down the road. The when and where are yet to be determined, I just need to be receptive.
I've been thinking a lot lately, so expect another post soon.
AF
Monday, March 21, 2016
And Sunsets
It feels like I've been away from writing for a while; some much needed time spent at home and the return to an ever-increasingly busy school schedule creates for some long ass nights, to say the least.
My last night in the house I grew up in was probably last week; my parents put our house up for sale a while ago and things are starting to pick up. My room is hotel clean and didn't really feel like it was mine anymore. The house is devoid of all things that say a family is living here; my parents did a great job getting it ready for market. I will miss this house and all the memories I had growing up there. This was the place that I learned so much about what it means to grow up in Maine.
Home was the place that I would go to spend time in the woods with my dog, exploring and living a childhood that can never truly be captured. I will miss the long summer days of processing wood for the winter reserve with Dad and dog nearby under the apple trees taking respite in its cool shade. I will miss wandering in the woods with Mom and sharing conversation about the future. Home was a great place, and the house provided me with so much, but like anything, life moves on.
This life is not meant to stay stationary, and its not like I'm moving to Cambodia. My parents own another property in the same town that is equally as special and personal. When I was younger, I resisted the move more than anything; I fought my parents will to put the house on the market early for selfish reasons and I regret that to this day. It wasn't right for me to do that, because home is not just a building anymore than it is a field. The people inside are what truly matter more than anything, and I wish I saw that sooner.
It is a little bit sad for me though. It seems like the independence I so longed for ten months ago was suddenly thrust upon me in greater waves than I could ever imagine. Cruise this summer is bound to only increase my liberation even more; I will become the world and adventurous person that I wanted so desperately to be during my childhood, however, I will have to trade the familiar for the foreign.
Who knew growing up is such a crazy horse-ride into a cowboy sunset.
Yehaw.
My last night in the house I grew up in was probably last week; my parents put our house up for sale a while ago and things are starting to pick up. My room is hotel clean and didn't really feel like it was mine anymore. The house is devoid of all things that say a family is living here; my parents did a great job getting it ready for market. I will miss this house and all the memories I had growing up there. This was the place that I learned so much about what it means to grow up in Maine.
Home was the place that I would go to spend time in the woods with my dog, exploring and living a childhood that can never truly be captured. I will miss the long summer days of processing wood for the winter reserve with Dad and dog nearby under the apple trees taking respite in its cool shade. I will miss wandering in the woods with Mom and sharing conversation about the future. Home was a great place, and the house provided me with so much, but like anything, life moves on.
This life is not meant to stay stationary, and its not like I'm moving to Cambodia. My parents own another property in the same town that is equally as special and personal. When I was younger, I resisted the move more than anything; I fought my parents will to put the house on the market early for selfish reasons and I regret that to this day. It wasn't right for me to do that, because home is not just a building anymore than it is a field. The people inside are what truly matter more than anything, and I wish I saw that sooner.
It is a little bit sad for me though. It seems like the independence I so longed for ten months ago was suddenly thrust upon me in greater waves than I could ever imagine. Cruise this summer is bound to only increase my liberation even more; I will become the world and adventurous person that I wanted so desperately to be during my childhood, however, I will have to trade the familiar for the foreign.
Who knew growing up is such a crazy horse-ride into a cowboy sunset.
Yehaw.
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Sun in an Empty Room
Ahh, a good weekend. I didn't make it up t the land of milk and honey, but I found a nice little patch in the sun by the sea. It was a good night, and I had more fun than I thought I was going to. It's always nice meeting up with new people and shooting the breeze, learning about who they are, and just having a good conversation. All in all, it was good and I'm glad I had a chance to go.
In other news, I was jumping around on Spotify and I found another pretty kick ass song by The Weakerthans, a Winnipeg (cool city with wicked cool people-I've met one!) based band that has strayed from their days of punk rock and found a niche in mellow indie rock (the dad of all rock). Pretty chill stuff if you're into Spoon or Pedro the Lion.
The song, Sun in an Empty Room is a perfect example of how great a vibe this band can cast. It's a nice bluesy tune that facilitates a lip-pursing head bob. Again, I've found anther sick song due to Discover Weekly (these people should totally pay me for all the props I'm giving them), and I'm excited to see what new music will come my way on Monday.
Anyway, I've been jumping around in my head a little bit lately. This is the last week of classes before spring break, and I can't wait to go home. I have missed it a little bit, but I am nowhere as homesick I was this first semester. Maybe it had to do with the whole shipping disaster incident and living on the ship definitely didn't help. It just felt like I was trapped on the rust bucket even though we were moored up. Fortunately, I got over that feeling and I'm looking forward to going out on cruise this summer.
It will suck being away, but I think of what I would be doing if I were at a state school with all that time off. I'd probably find a couple more jobs and plug away for forty hours a week to scrape by and have loads of summer fun in Farmtown, but I think this is my chance to really get out in the world and see some really cool stuff. It's what I want to do, and this is my first chance to do it. I can't wait to set sail, but I have a lot of stuff to learn before May 5th.
It will be a good experience, and I am ready for it. I'm turning twenty this year, and I have a chance to do something very few twenty year olds get to do. I'm so lucky to have the support of my friends and family in this. I wouldn't be here without their influence in my life, and I just hope to do right by them and give everything I have to be the best I can.
Not to sound too preachy, but life is something worth experiencing to the highest degree. Things can change so quickly, and to have the world dropped on its head right next to you is humbling to say the least. The sooner we realize and appreciate life for what it is worth, the better our shared experiences will be. I know I've been blessed to be where I am; thank you for everything.
Here's to a quick week, good friends, and another shitty Monday.
In other news, I was jumping around on Spotify and I found another pretty kick ass song by The Weakerthans, a Winnipeg (cool city with wicked cool people-I've met one!) based band that has strayed from their days of punk rock and found a niche in mellow indie rock (the dad of all rock). Pretty chill stuff if you're into Spoon or Pedro the Lion.
The song, Sun in an Empty Room is a perfect example of how great a vibe this band can cast. It's a nice bluesy tune that facilitates a lip-pursing head bob. Again, I've found anther sick song due to Discover Weekly (these people should totally pay me for all the props I'm giving them), and I'm excited to see what new music will come my way on Monday.
Anyway, I've been jumping around in my head a little bit lately. This is the last week of classes before spring break, and I can't wait to go home. I have missed it a little bit, but I am nowhere as homesick I was this first semester. Maybe it had to do with the whole shipping disaster incident and living on the ship definitely didn't help. It just felt like I was trapped on the rust bucket even though we were moored up. Fortunately, I got over that feeling and I'm looking forward to going out on cruise this summer.
It will suck being away, but I think of what I would be doing if I were at a state school with all that time off. I'd probably find a couple more jobs and plug away for forty hours a week to scrape by and have loads of summer fun in Farmtown, but I think this is my chance to really get out in the world and see some really cool stuff. It's what I want to do, and this is my first chance to do it. I can't wait to set sail, but I have a lot of stuff to learn before May 5th.
It will be a good experience, and I am ready for it. I'm turning twenty this year, and I have a chance to do something very few twenty year olds get to do. I'm so lucky to have the support of my friends and family in this. I wouldn't be here without their influence in my life, and I just hope to do right by them and give everything I have to be the best I can.
Not to sound too preachy, but life is something worth experiencing to the highest degree. Things can change so quickly, and to have the world dropped on its head right next to you is humbling to say the least. The sooner we realize and appreciate life for what it is worth, the better our shared experiences will be. I know I've been blessed to be where I am; thank you for everything.
Here's to a quick week, good friends, and another shitty Monday.
Monday, February 22, 2016
Life is Strange (pt1)
I started to play Life is Strange this weekend, and I must say that it's really made me think about how freakin' weird life can be. The game deals a lot with happiness, decisions, and the relationships we build with those around us. It also has a superb soundtrack that really speaks to the core game design; every decision you make can be undone, because the main character can control time.
Imagine having a conversation with someone, and then having the ability to rewind it and change a few words that forks into an entirely different conversation in itself. This power has great weight in the game, and it is an extremely interesting dynamic; dose the player chose to accuse a security guard of harassment or point the finger at a fellow classmate that is slinging drugs on the side? The decision doesn't really matter at the present moment, because regardless of how you chose to play it, your decision can be undone and the other option can be explored.
During my time playing the game, I've wondered how this dynamic could apply to my life. Has every decision I've made been the right one? Of course, the answer is no. If I could rewind time and speak out in times where I wanted noting more than to not be noticed, or stay quiet when I should have, I feel like I could really avoid having to pull my foot out of my yap.
But does having a rewind button take away what it means to be human? As I wrote this, I realized that undoing all the mistake or wrongs you have committed would change your perception of life; you would never truly learn from your mistakes in a permanent and meaningful way. I would constantly be undoing the smallest mistakes and always come out on the bright side of situations. Winning all the time doesn't make a team better. Losing can tell you more about yourself than anything else ever could.
If I could change anything in my life, I wouldn't. However, if I could go back to the beginning and do it all over again, would I play it out the same? I think the answer to that could only be realized if I were to literally start life in the cradle again; I honestly don't know. I don't know if I would decide to go to a pseudo-military school where I often daydream about hiking the AT and/or riding a motorcycle across Canada, exploring life though experiences and not buried in a textbook doing physics until my fingers bleed.
The choices I have made are mine, and I own up to them. I took control of my life and am doing what I am doing because I think this is what I want to do, but (as I have said before) I would be lying to say that I've never wanted to cash in all this hard work and explore other options. Maybe I would find a meaning to life larger than a dollar, but at this point I am doing the 'most very clean cut, well educated, and typical' thing a nineteen year old can do; working my ass off in school and giving (hopefully) setting myself up for a great future.
Life is strange, and the decisions we make constantly alter the roads we travel down. Having the ability to go back between each decision won't make us better people, but just give us too much control in our lives, and will often cause more problems than we anticipated. The best course through life is the one that we are on, and it can only get better if we make educated decisions and live with as few regrets as possible. i only ope to take my own advice, and to continue on the path that I am on. It's not a lot of fun right now, but who is to say that I can't do the AT or ride my newly purchased Triumph T-100 (or do i really need such a nice bike?) in matte black from Antigonish to Prince Rupert (or the other way around?) when I am twenty-four/five/six-ish. Only time will tell.
In closing, I would like to share one of my favorite songs that has popped up in the game. I'm only in the second episode (of five), so I hope to find more as I go. Anyway, the link is below and I really suggest you give it a listen as you ask yourself if every decision you have made has been a good one, and if you change any of the thing you have done if given the power to.
Here's to another shitty Monday, and hopefully a good weekend.
Imagine having a conversation with someone, and then having the ability to rewind it and change a few words that forks into an entirely different conversation in itself. This power has great weight in the game, and it is an extremely interesting dynamic; dose the player chose to accuse a security guard of harassment or point the finger at a fellow classmate that is slinging drugs on the side? The decision doesn't really matter at the present moment, because regardless of how you chose to play it, your decision can be undone and the other option can be explored.
During my time playing the game, I've wondered how this dynamic could apply to my life. Has every decision I've made been the right one? Of course, the answer is no. If I could rewind time and speak out in times where I wanted noting more than to not be noticed, or stay quiet when I should have, I feel like I could really avoid having to pull my foot out of my yap.
But does having a rewind button take away what it means to be human? As I wrote this, I realized that undoing all the mistake or wrongs you have committed would change your perception of life; you would never truly learn from your mistakes in a permanent and meaningful way. I would constantly be undoing the smallest mistakes and always come out on the bright side of situations. Winning all the time doesn't make a team better. Losing can tell you more about yourself than anything else ever could.
If I could change anything in my life, I wouldn't. However, if I could go back to the beginning and do it all over again, would I play it out the same? I think the answer to that could only be realized if I were to literally start life in the cradle again; I honestly don't know. I don't know if I would decide to go to a pseudo-military school where I often daydream about hiking the AT and/or riding a motorcycle across Canada, exploring life though experiences and not buried in a textbook doing physics until my fingers bleed.
The choices I have made are mine, and I own up to them. I took control of my life and am doing what I am doing because I think this is what I want to do, but (as I have said before) I would be lying to say that I've never wanted to cash in all this hard work and explore other options. Maybe I would find a meaning to life larger than a dollar, but at this point I am doing the 'most very clean cut, well educated, and typical' thing a nineteen year old can do; working my ass off in school and giving (hopefully) setting myself up for a great future.
Life is strange, and the decisions we make constantly alter the roads we travel down. Having the ability to go back between each decision won't make us better people, but just give us too much control in our lives, and will often cause more problems than we anticipated. The best course through life is the one that we are on, and it can only get better if we make educated decisions and live with as few regrets as possible. i only ope to take my own advice, and to continue on the path that I am on. It's not a lot of fun right now, but who is to say that I can't do the AT or ride my newly purchased Triumph T-100 (or do i really need such a nice bike?) in matte black from Antigonish to Prince Rupert (or the other way around?) when I am twenty-four/five/six-ish. Only time will tell.
In closing, I would like to share one of my favorite songs that has popped up in the game. I'm only in the second episode (of five), so I hope to find more as I go. Anyway, the link is below and I really suggest you give it a listen as you ask yourself if every decision you have made has been a good one, and if you change any of the thing you have done if given the power to.
Here's to another shitty Monday, and hopefully a good weekend.
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