After looking around on Spotify for a while, I stumbled across my friend Z's page. Z is a kick-ass musician and even better friend. He goes to some art school a few states over yonder, but keeps in touch with his friends back home. He is known for his somewhat 'unknown' musical taste -he likes bands most people have never heard of before (and has seen most of them in some of the most sketchy venues imaginable). His playlists are comprised of songs wracked full of angsty teen anthems and shoegazey sadboy rock operas.
After some searching, I came across a song that didn't really fit Z's usual musical mold; sad, sad, and more sad. The song that stood out so much was Prawner by the Polar Bear Club. Musically, it stayed within the style that Z would like, but its lyrics stood in stark contrast to the this genre.
"I've got to take a grab at something great"
As I heard this, I suddenly felt a sense of validation; I realized that everyone is trying to achieve this simple goal. You see, we sometimes wander from disaster to disaster aimlessly driving in circles asking ourselves what we are doing with our lives. Days seem to go by too fast yet they tend to drag on. There are some days where the two mix together and you can't tell if you want this moment to last forever or slip back out of the limelight.
But then this song came on. My plans for next year are my own, albeit somewhat lofty and seemingly impossible at times, will take me to places I've never been. I've often wondered if this was what I truly wanted from college, and if this was the lifestyle I wanted. I've asked myself so many times what if this doesn't work out, will I be a failure, and how will this work? Honestly, I have no idea if this will work out, but it is worth a try regardless.
That is the point. I'm reaching for something that is bigger than myself; something that makes me more afraid and excited than I have even been in my life. In the end, I know that things won't be easy and I will be challenged everyday. At this time next year, I will but cut off from the outside world and will be at sea for ninety days. No internet. No mail. My friends will be home for the summer and probably gathering around a campfire, enjoying each other's company. I'm not trying to make the shipping experience sound like its going to suck; I can't wait to see the sea and take a life of adventure. My point is that I will be trading the life (or a piece of it) for something new and adventuresome. I know I will miss everybody, but that is the price of the sea.
Ultimately, we will all go down our own path. Each way is different, twisting, narrated by different voice actors, and surrounded by different types of nasty things that make you want to walk away from it all. In a year, our lives will all be drastically different. We will all be on our way to life and the nostalgia that makes memories last.
So, I leave you with the song that brought me here in the first place. Music has truly been one of the most influential things in my life, and I hope that it can have the same effects on you as it has me.
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